December 2010

December 31, 2010

“At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.”

George Carlin (1937 – 2008)

December 30, 2010

“The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.”

Frank Zappa (1940 – 1993)

December 29, 2010

“A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.”

Will Rogers (1879 – 1935)

December 28, 2010

“Be polite to all, but intimate with few.”

Thomas Jefferson (1743 – 1926)

December 27, 2010

“Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations.”

Steve Jobs (1955 – )

December 26, 2010

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

Rita Rudner (1955 – )

December 25, 2010

“That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”

Jerry Seinfeld (1955 – )

December 24, 2010

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”

Garrison Keillor (1942 – )

December 23, 2010

“Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.”

Ronald Reagan (1911 – 2004)

December 22, 2010

“It’s a brilliant surface in that sunlight. The horizon seems quite close to you because the curvature is so much more pronounced than here on earth. It’s an interesting place to be. I recommend it.”

Neil Armstrong (1930 – )

December 21, 2010

“Everyone has a plan ’till they get punched in the mouth.”

Mike Tyson (1966 – )

December 20, 2010

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”

Woody Allen (1935 – )

December 19, 2010

“All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”

Pablo Picasso (1881 – 1973)

December 18, 2010

“Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 – 1969)

December 17, 2010

“These young guys are playing checkers. I’m out there playing chess.”

Kobe Bryant (1978 – )

December 16, 2010

“I still sweat. My guts are still grinding out there. Sometimes I have enough cotton in my mouth to knit a sweater.”

Lee Trevino (1939 – )

December 15, 2010

“A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.”

Wayne Gretzky (1961 – )

December 14, 2010

“I don’t like Los Angeles. The people are awful and terribly shallow, and everybody wants to be famous but nobody wants to play the game. I’m from New York. I will kill to get what I need.”

Lady Gaga (1986 – )

December 13, 2010

“As a kid, I might have been psycho, I guess, but I used to throw golf balls in the trees and try and somehow make par from them. I thought that was fun.”

Tiger Woods ()

December 12, 2010

“I tell kids to pursue their basketball dreams, but I tell them to not let that be their only dream.”

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (1947 – )

December 11, 2010

“Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?”

Clifford Stoll (unknown)

December 10, 2010

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929 – 1968)

December 9, 2010

“Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.”

Shirley MacLaine (1934 – )

December 8, 2010

“The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit for doing them.”

Benjamin Jowett (1817 – 1893)

December 7, 2010

“Success is that old ABC – ability, breaks, and courage.”

Charles Luckman (unknown)

December 6, 2010

“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”

Rodney Dangerfield (1921 – 2004)

December 5, 2010

“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.”

Bill Cosby (1937 – )

December 4, 2010

“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”

E. B. White (1899 – 1985)

December 3, 2010

“Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.”

Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)

December 2, 2010

“Opportunity knocked. My doorman threw him out.”

Adrienne Gusoff (unknown)

December 1, 2010

“There was no “before” the beginning of our universe, because once upon a time there was no time.”

John D. Barrow (1952 – )

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